Zoe's Musings

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If I sit down to think, I can't count the amount of times I've moved in the last 3 years. I've been lucky to live in several different countries and several different counties, but the constant packing and unpacking from one university house to another and back to my parent's house does get very tiring!

This week I'm moving back up to university for a while to go back to work and to study for my retake, so it's another bout of packing up my stuff and heading off into yet another new house. The difference now is that this is the last house I'll be moving to for university as this is (hopefully!) my last year at uni! I'm excited to get back to being settled in at uni, it'll be nice to have a bit more freedom and to be able to see my mates & boyfriend, and also it'll be great to get back into my routine with work and revision and socialising etc.

This week has been pretty busy, I was up in Yorkshire for a week for a holiday, so expect to see a photography post of my trip sometime in the next couple of weeks! Next week I'm moving back up to Surrey, but I'm only spending a few hours there before I go down to Dorset with the boyfriend for a bit of a holiday with his family, we're going to Monkey World and I cannot wait! What are your plans for the next couple of weeks? Have you been/are you going away this Summer?

I used to be very stuck in the past. I've had a blessed upbringing, I've had loving parents and I've not gone without, but I have had my fair share of troubles and heartache in my 20 ish years on this planet, and it's caused me to get a bit stuck reliving those bits of my life. It took a lot of hanging on to get through various points of my life, but now I feel like I've got a foot in the doorway of something pretty amazing, and I can't wait for the rest of my life to begin (basically after uni ends because it definitely hasn't been the fun and amazing 2 and a bit years that I'd thought).

So, the message this week is to let old times stay in the past, live for the moment, and look forward to the future (coz it's looking pretty bright).

source: quoteslike.com

If you've not already gathered, I'm obsessed with Disney, I love princesses and fairytales and magic (yes I'm an adult, no I don't care). I've always wanted my own fairytale, my own 'Happily ever after', and to star in my own romantic comedy. I never really felt like I was deserving of a happy ending, but I'm currently living my 'rom-com' moments, and I've never been happier. I don't depend on a guy to be happy, however being in a relationship with someone who cares about me more than I've ever experienced with anyone before definitely has improved my happiness. If anything, it's made me realise how much I'm worth and how well I deserve to be treated. Which is pretty lovely!

I had an amazing evening watching the sunset at the beach this week, it was absolutely gorgeous! Other than that, I've been catching up with friends and family, spending time with my boyfriend and I've also been out a few times catching Pokemon with my brother! I was the first person to diss Pokemon Go when it first came out, but I have a lot to thank for it, it's definitely helped me get my brother to spend more time with me!

How has your last couple of weeks been?

instagram.com/mynameiszoeee

It's not been easy this week. I've spent a lot of the week stressing about various things which I won't go into too much detail about, but it's consumed a lot of my time and brain power, and has made me feel a bit uneasy and emotional. Nothing too major, just having a bit of a stressful week.

It's a bit difficult to keep afloat sometimes, I tend to really get bogged down in things and affected by things in a huge way. This week has been tough to get on with, but it's over now and I'm on to more exciting things (when you're reading this post I'm going to be on my way to Liverpool for the week to catch up with some family I haven't seen for a few years, so that's always nice to cheer me up!)

It's been really nice to be home despite missing certain things about uni, obviously getting to spend time with my family has been nice, and I got to see the home-bestie which was fun, had a good old catch up.

I've made a lot of time for hobbies since I've been home, as at uni I find it's quite difficult to make time for things like that. I read a book (Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell,  it was absolutely amazing I loved it), and I'm also making myself some bunting for my bedroom. I'm quite enjoying the challenge as I've never properly used a sewing machine before, and learning new skills is always good, albeit a bit frustrating as I hate not being instantly good at things!!

Another project I've started this week is the long and laborious task of decluttering my bedroom. Having moved around a fair bit all my stuff has been chucked in boxes which haven't been cracked open since I was about 16. It's safe to say my room is getting overwhelmingly cluttered with things I didn't even remember having, so I've been ruthless in my donating and chucking things I no longer have a use for. I'm only halfway through so my room is an absolute state still while I'm sorting through it all, but I can't wait till it's finished and I can really make my room my own space again. It was long overdue!

It's Sunday. Sundays are my favourite days of the week. In a typical week I have lectures pretty much all day everyday Monday-Friday, and I work Friday and Saturday nights so Sundays are my one day off a week to just breathe, and take things slowly. Sundays are the days I like to pamper myself, to really take the time to cleanse and exfoliate and put on a face mask, to read a book or do some writing or look back through old photos, and of course to catch up on sleep, which was very much needed after the week I've had!

I finished up my last exam last week, and so after two hours sat in a stiflingly stuffy and silent exam hall I was finished my second year at university. I had the most amazing evening out to celebrate being finished exams - my boyfriend treated me to dinner, and I felt like an absolute princess. It was so nice to be able to spend time with someone so special to me where I wasn't stressed about uni, we'd both booked the weekend off work so we had an uninterrupted evening together having dinner and then having a long and peaceful walk around our town. Time like that to de-stress is so important, and it's vital to take the time to be with the people you love in a completely relaxed, distraction-free place to have deep conversations and to share lovely memories.

After a birthday party for a best mate on the Saturday night I was off home on the train early Sunday morning (it was one of the worst train journeys of my life and took me twice as long as it usually does, but we won't dwell on that!). I have been pretty homesick recently so spending time at home with my family is just what the doctor ordered. This does mean however that I'm now about 2 hours away from my boyfriend and many of my friends, which means that I can't easily come back to hang out with everyone. I get serious Fear-Of-Missing-Out (FOMO) when I come back home, as my friends at uni are pretty much all in the same circle of friends so whenever they organise something nearly all of my friends come together. It really upsets me not being able to see them as easily as I can usually, however I do know that there'll be plenty more opportunities to see them and to spend time with them. FOMO is real though, and it sucks. Big time. Especially when I get invited to all sorts of fun things and I can't go because it's not possible for me to get back.

One of the biggest things I'm struggling with at the moment is feeling homesick for whichever 'home' I'm not at. When I'm at 'home' with my parents I miss my university 'home' where all my friends and my boyfriend are, and when I'm at my uni 'home' I miss my family and my dog and my bestie from home and the comfort of being at home and always having food in the fridge and a nice garden (and TV and fast wifi!!). I feel so torn between the two places, I'm forever in limbo of missing the place I'm not at. That's probably one of the hardest things I struggle with at uni, it leaves me feeling very displaced and it gets quite hard to feel like either place is my home, especially as all my belongings are scattered in between the two houses. I've moved so many times over the last few years to and from uni and even before that, so it gets very difficult to feel like I really belong anywhere.